I used to click on the internet for days as soon as I came across anything under “how to…” and then “child and kindergarten” and absorbed content from beginning to the end believing that it would help me.
In fact, now after separation, repeated for the third time, I can confidently say that I used to look for wrong texts. The real texts refer to us, moms, who stay alone in the corridors feeling blue, while someone has already taken the child and quickly closed the doors of the premises, and they deal with formulas how not to suffer, or not to have a ruined day, week, month… How to prevent our hearts from breaking being already cracked from some prior abandonment, how to stay calm while our child is endlessly sadly crying while we are leaving them to some lady in a kindergarten, and even if they are a bit older and can speak, so you hear something like “Don’t Mommy, I was yesterday there, Mom, there was a spider and a bug, no Mom, Mom, I was… ” and do not let them think that you will scatter around those tiles into small pieces at any moment… You will likely be dragging yourself from the kindergarten, beaten and sad, and the child’s cry will echo in your head during the day and interrupt your concentration in every attempt to conduct a meeting…
During the day you will probably think about how to quit your job and stay in the house with the child and reduce your needs to a minimum or work from home, and anyway, so many people now work from home, and you will find something suitable.
Then you start thinking about how you have to get them a T-shirt with no buttons behind their back because those ladies might not see these buttons, so they don’t unbutton them, but they pull them and rip that little head off. And sneakers, too, to be a little larger, that the legs could slip in, not let the lady put that little leg in the shoes at high speed and hurt your most precious creature.
Psychologists always say that the kindergarten collective is right for the child, it develops the resistance to frustration, and that resilience is a very important thing later in life… and so on…
But over and over when the maternal role takes hold of us, while we are walking towards a kindergarten and watch that little hand that firmly holds the doll, we realize how difficult this life can be, and separation is a painful thing again.
And no theory about frustration resilience will help us, nor it will matter to us how important it is for us to check that there is not a small button and that shoes and sneakers are really a bit more comfortable.
Let’s go, moms, be brave. Do not drive with your eyes full of tears, wait until it passes, and then you park out with the repaired makeup and move on…
